Tuesday, May 13, 2014

My Week in TV: 05/05-11/05

Here is my ranking of the TV shows I watched last week (spoilers abound):

13. Bad Teacher: "Evaluation Day" (Season 1 Episode 3)

I have just learned that the show was cancelled after this episode. I'm not sure if they are going to air the rest of the episodes or if I'm going to watch them because this show was truly terrible. But luckily, it was short-lived. Let us hope Ari Graynor goes back to doing indie comedies and doesn't spend her career trying to happen in television. The show was unfunny, not remotely resembling any known reality and profoundly boring for a 20-minute show. Seriously, it is for the best. I cannot even remember what went on in the episode. Good riddance.

MVP: Graynor but only by default.

12. Glee: "Old Dogs, New Tricks" (Season 5 Episode 19)

If this picture shows how Santana feels, imagine how I feel. This episode was terrible. There is no going around it. Plain and simply terrible. How much of a megalomaniac can Chris Colfer be? He writes an episode that revolves entirely about how his character is always right without a hint of irony. Kurt knows best. The rest of the bunch are just idiots that cannot deal with taking care of dogs while mantaining sexless relationships or divas that are so stupid as to not know when they're blowing off the PR opportunity they themselves have set. June Squibb was adorable though.

MVP: I would give it to Santana by default but she should not have gone blonde so I'm giving this to Lea Michele only for the line "I'm doing it for the animals". I also love that she is the butt of a joke in Neighbors.

11. New Girl: "Cruise" (Season 3 Episode 23)

This was kind of a downer, specially for a season finale. The parts with the captain were funny but the Jess/Nick dinamic is getting tiresome although the montage with the couple activities was fun but, really, how longer can they sustain a show on this weird relationship. I'm not saying that they should be together or that they should not deal with the break-up. But it doesn't need to be the center of every episode. And I don't want Cece back with Smichdt. I want him dead. In a ridiculous, humilliating way.

MVP: Damon Wayans Jr, having fun with Coach's fear of boats.

10. Modern Family: "Message Received" (Season 5 Episode 22)

This was a pretty decent episode, although as my boyfriend pointed out, Mitchell and Jay arguing by the ending was weird and unnecessary. This is not a character development show, it's a situation comedy. If you want to show Jay's uncomfortable about the wedding, make it (or try to make it) funny, don't go for deep emotions. The Pritchett-Delgado household storyline was the one I enjoyed most. I also liked Cam and Mitch's story, mainly because I'll take any opportunity to show Cam as the dumb person he is. The Dunphy-Pritchett story was also ok but not as inspired as it could have been but I guess it sets up Claire's next season pregnancy. This week, the wedding arrives!

MVP: Sofía Vergara as Gloria. She was really fun and she has chemistry with Stella who is a very good acting dog.

9. Orphan Black: "Governed As It Were By Chance" (Season 2 Episode 4)

And we have the first sort-of-dull episode of the season. Alison is in rehab and Cosima coughs a little. That's how far their stories go. Well, the latter also helps Sarah researching the Leda Project and giving a half-assed mythology lesson. Can you tell I don't like Cosima? Meanwhile Helena escapes the religious freaks and finds Sarah who had been impersonating Rachel on the phone to get into her apartment. Maslany is very good playing terrified when Sarah sees Helena since she thought she was dead. In general, not a lot happened in this episode although I think Rachel's minion slash monitor is gone for good.

MVP: As good as Maslany is I'm going to give this one to Maria Doyle Kennedy because she makes Mrs. S very interesting with very little to do.

8. The Simpsons: "Brick Like Me" (Season 25 Episode 20)

Who'd have known? It took a shameless corporate sell-out to have a decent episode of The Simpsons. Granted, it borrows too much from The Lego Movie (Phil Lord et al, 2014) but since they admit so in the episode (and it's done in a funny way with the huge Emmett and Wyldstyle dolls in the background) we can give them a pass. It also reminded me of the G.I. Joe episode of Community with the blurring of the two realities. It was a very funny episode both with character-based jokes and with Lego-based jokes (I loved the creation according to Lego). I was not in love with Bart's storyline but it ties up nicely in the end. Another thing I did not like was the heavy-handed (and again, quite outdated) parody of The Hunger Games. Plus, everyone knows that the books/movies are not about love.

MVP: Homer, explaining to Lisa that parents never like to play with their kids. He would rather read the fiction in The New Yorker. The fiction!

7. Grey's Anatomy: "Everything I Try to Do, Nothing Seems to Turn Out Right" (Season 10 Episode 23)

As of the 8th of this month, the show has been confirmed to have an 11th season. And if Meredith says yes to Derek's proposal of moving to Washington D.C., the show might move with them. Would it be too much of a shark jump? I think that it's not going to happen and it is probably for the best. There are too many lovable characters in Seattle. Cristina will soon not be in Seattle (or in the show) and is looking for a replacement for head of cardio, something Owen has her do to convince her to stay. Owen, I'm with you, I want her to stay, but you have to convince Sandra Oh, not Yang. She is just following orders. April and Jackson start sharing the news about the pregnancy and Callie learns that she cannot carry another child. Stephanie takes the bullet for Miranda's arrogance (the parents were stupid, granted, but Bailey knew better than that. Or maybe she was inspired by cutting LVAD wires and whatnot) and I don't know if that means bye bye Steph, but who is leaving for sure is Leah, who is just not good enough to be a surgeon. I liked how they dealt with this scene. There were no hijinks, just the truth. Telling a likable character they are not good at the job they want to do is risky but it's what happens in real life.

MVP: Sara Ramirez who is one of the best criers in TV history. She just breaks my heart everytime she cries.

6.. Louie: "Model" (Season 4 Episode 2)

Louie is back! I love this TV show so much that it would make my top 3 of best TV shows ever. And even though the two episodes were great, I preferred the first one. This second one was hilarious too, don't get me wrong. A really hateful Jerry Seinfeld (is he ever not hateful?) asks Louie to introduce him and do stand up for ten minutes without telling him anything other than to clean up his act. The best Louie comes up when he cannot discuss jerking-off and penises is the essential dumbness of chickens. It doesn't go precisely well, something that Hateful Seinfeld takes advantage of, starting his routine making fun of Louie. Luckily, a model  that was in the audience chats him up and they end up having sex. But, she doesn't know he's extremely ticklish and she ends up almost blind. You know, Louie's life.

MVP: Louie. If I didn't have the best boyfriend in recorded history I would marry Louie without a second thought.

5. Game of Thrones: "First of His Name" (Season 4 Episode 5)

This episode, up until the end, was extremely women-centric. Every scene except the last one in the North is focused on a woman or more. And frankly, they are mostly the best characters. Cersei gives in and asks Margaery to marry her son. The recent widow pushes her luck, deliciously pondering whether to call Cersei sister or mother. Later, Cersei makes friends with Oberyn and even though she most likely wants to influence Tyrion's trial, it's a very nice bonding scene. Danaerys needs to be more than the Mother of Dragons and decides not to go to King's Landing yet but stay and rule as the queen she is. Sansa continues to have the worst luck and ends up with her crazy aunt accused of having seduced Littlefinger. Arya's scene was very exciting as she recites all the people she intends to kill and finishes up by saying "The Hound" who is lying next to her. In the north, the new Crispin Glover (best death ever, by the way) tries to rape the sister of the Love Actually boy but Bran saves the day by getting into Hodor. I really liked that moment when Hodor is obviously confused about what has happened but nevertheless helps Bran withouth question (not that he could actually pose a question).

MVP: Lena Headey as Cersei. She plays all three of her scenes beautifully.

4. Galerías Velvet: "Terciopelo Azul" (Season 1 Episode 12)

It's not great form to start by the ending, but when it's this monumental, what are you going to do? Cristina sees Ana and Alberto kissing. I think they don't see her so maybe she is going to keep the secret for a while. She finds out in the country club where she has thrown a party for Alberto (good) and where she wants to keep him for life, apparently (bad). In that party, Raúl, who has accepted to tame his vision in order to do one more collection for Velvet, not only gives Cristina a blue velvet dress but also sings "Blue Velvet" while Ana sings back-up quite adorably. Also, we have new characters: Cristina's brother (who is already making eyes at Patricia) and his wife (who is making eyes at the idea of mistreating the service). The three couples are going strong. Mateo invites Clara to be his plus one at the wedding; Pedro tells Rita that he loves her and to wait for him, but since he's screaming for a cab she doesn't really hear (Esmérate, Rita) and Max and Doña Blanca kiss. Oh and the best scene is Alberto asking Patricia to be his maid of honor. They are so cute!

MVP: Miguel Ángel Silvestre, no matter how many letters he can eat, he was really good in this episode playing the man torn between two loves and being nice to Patricia.

3. Louie: "Back" (Season 4 Episode 1)

Well, it's not easy to find Louie pictures, so let's pretend that the one I chose is from the episode (which could be, because, hello, generic). And, not to reiterate, but I love Louie and I love Louie. And I love his daughters (Dear Aids, knock it off). And I love his poker nights (you have a desk?). And I loved the conversation about cock rings. And I loved his doctor. So, in general, Louie = love.

MVP: Louie himself with the doctor being a close second.

2. Hannibal: "Ko no Mono" (Season 2 Episode 11)

This is another episode that really needs to be discussed from the end backwards. Freddie is alive. Boom. I guess they put fake teeth on a different corpse but unless Tom and Jerry are in on it, they should be fired for not noticing (I really don't like those two characters). By the way, how awesome and iconic were the images of the wheelchair in flames rolling down the parking lot and then, of the corpse posed as Shiva? Very much so. Alana, until the end twist, continues to be as silly as they come but I guess we, as an audience, were played in a very similar way as her. Margot is pregnant by Will but Mason performs an abortion and makes sure that her sister is sterile. Brotherly love, you know. Will confronts him (first, as pictured above, he checks Mason's hair not giving credit) but not as much as possible because now we know he is not cuckoo and suggests Mason should feed Hannibal to his pigs.

MVP: Hugh Dancy keeps being the best player in the show but I also enjoyed a lot the scene between Alana and Jack.

1. Mad Men: "The Monolith" (Season 7 Episode 4)

Halfway through the episode, Roger jokes about Don not having clubbed another ape in a week. By the end of the episode, Don has killed every ape, touched the monolith, gone to space and, thankfully, back. Back to working for Peggy. We know how humiliating this is and since Joan is telling Peggy all the juicy details of Don's return it could get even moreso if she decides to reach out or condescend to him. Meanwhile, a computer is being set up in the former creative lounge and Harry (who do we hate more? him or Lou?) says it's not a symbol to which Don, very cleverly, answers that it's quite literal. Roger's storyline is also very interesting. Her spoiled daughter has decided to leave her husband and toddler and move to a commune in upstate New York. The show, always ambiguous, never makes it clear who's right and leaves it to the audience to figure it out, or to figure out if it's possible to figure it out. Mona's presence is always welcome by the way. This episode was so, so good. I don't know how I'm going to survive when this half-season ends in two weeks.

MVP: Jon Hamm as Don Draper. And he does not have an Emmy yet.

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